10.23.2008

Can anyone help...

We bought a plot for my dog at a pet cemetery, he is there now and we are supposed to go on Saturday to see him and have him buried. I am having second thoughts and would like to bury him at home. My husband doesn't think this is a good idea. He says that if we move, I will then not be able to visit his grave and I regret making this decision. I'm just curious if anyone has ever buried a beloved pet in their yard and then moved away and what that was like....

2 comments:

the undomesticated wife said...

I can see both of your view points...you want Carmen close to you, but like your husband says, you can visit him whenever at the cemetary if you move.

We didn't bury Booger. We were in a rental house at the time, and so I knew we were moving for sure. State (or county) laws here don't allow for people to bury their pets (I guess for "health" reasons), but generally, vets will still let you take them home to bury if you want.

Since I knew we were moving soon (we bought a house a few months later), I had Booger cremated so that I could take him with me, and then when the time was right, I could either bury his ashes in the garden or scatter them somewhere.

It's been 4-1/2 years since he passed, and I still haven't done anything with his ashes yet. I can't do it yet, because I'm just not ready. My hubs thinks it's way past time, but I can't do it. So he is in his urn (a little cedar box with his name engraved on a brass plate) up in our master closet.

As far as how long it takes for the pain to go away...well, I don't know that it ever really fully does. I had a very difficult time. I had to take a few days off from work because I was so devastated. If he'd died of old age, I think it would have been a little bit easier, because you expect that. But you don't expect them to get a horrible illness like cancer.

I will say that it took me quite a while to be able to look at his pictures and talk about him without crying..probably quite a few months.

Something special did happen though. On the 1 year anniversary of his death, I was driving home from work, feeling sad about it being a year since he was gone. About halfway home, there was a huge, beautiful rainbow in the sky! I'm serious, I couldn't make this up! I smiled, because it was almost like a sign. I've never really believed it signs, but it did comfort me, and I guess that's all that really mattered at the time.

I was afraid that over time I would forget things about him. So I bought a beautiful blank journal to use to write down funny things he did, memories, dreams I had of him (I dreamt of him quite a bit there at the beginning). Having that journal helped me.

I hope someone can answer your question about the burial. I'm sorry I can't.

Hang in there! As they always say, time will help heal your heart, and I didn't believe it at first, but it is true. ((hugs))

charmaine said...

hi brandi. i pray and hope that you are feeling better. i have never been in this kind of situation, but i want to try and help give you some comfort.

i think that it would be better if you bury him where you bought the plot. only if this is not the home that you plan to live in for a very long time. i wouldn't want to see you be even more depressed when the time comes if you decide to move.

think about it, if you move, you can't go back when you want to visit Carmen,but you can visit him anytime with the plot. i don't want to see you make a choice you will regret. i think you will feel better with the plot because if you move you won't feel like you left him behind. i think you will have peace with knowing that he is in his plot and that you can visit him anytime.

please pray about it, God knows what's best for you in this situation. i will continue to pray for you and your husband that you will make the best decision.

God Bless,
charmaine

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